Moving Into A First Apartment Gifts

Poor clothing choices when you live alone

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Man's best friends."

Painting the Ceiling

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Home Sweet Home

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"Too bright."

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

A DIY disaster.

"Yours is adjustable?"

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."