Moving Into A First Apartment Gifts

Poor clothing choices when you live alone

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Painting the Ceiling

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"Man's best friends."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"Too bright."

A DIY disaster.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.