Mounted Police Gifts

'There's not enough horses for all the new recruits so some of you will be using pogo sticks.'

"Say 'eh.'"

Police Feline Unit

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Come out with your fins up!'

'GESUNDHEIT!!'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

Computer neck.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Penguin identity parade

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Your footage makes us dizzy so we're taking back your body camera, Officer Dancing Traffic Cop."

"No brandy? Just a gift card?"

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

"It's a driverless car! I'm humoring the dog!"

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

"I believe you to be over our new drink-drive limits, and require you to blow into this..!"

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

London Welcomes Carfull Drivers

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

'Careful. Those nachos might be loaded.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

'Hold it, Charlie - I think he's ready to cooperate now.'

A policeman and protester in the same family.