Mounted Police T-Shirts

'There's not enough horses for all the new recruits so some of you will be using pogo sticks.'

"Say 'eh.'"

Police Feline Unit

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Come out with your fins up!'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

Computer neck.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Penguin identity parade

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"No brandy? Just a gift card?"

"Your footage makes us dizzy so we're taking back your body camera, Officer Dancing Traffic Cop."

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"It's a driverless car! I'm humoring the dog!"

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

'Hold it, Charlie - I think he's ready to cooperate now.'

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

London Welcomes Carfull Drivers

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

Boot shiner puts a smiley on a policemen's boot.

"I believe you to be over our new drink-drive limits, and require you to blow into this..!"

'Careful. Those nachos might be loaded.'

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

"Yeah, well, you sure don't drive like a slow loris."

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

Math Equation Speed Limit

A policeman and protester in the same family.