Mountain Man Chef Gifts

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Sausages.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Rock Climber

Ode to a Grill

Aprons

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

"You like yours well done, right?"

Keith Floyd.

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

Licensed to grill.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"What about the five that fell through?"

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"Well-done, alright?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."