Mountain Maestro Gifts

The Top and The Tippy-top (mountain climbing)

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

'Ok, ok. We'll run through it one more time. The rabbit pops up, goes round the tree ..'

Apres Ski - Personal Injury Lawyers

Off Road Wellies

Yodelling School: Your calls may be recorded for training purposes.

Mountain Quartet

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Rock Climber

Statue turns into conductor when it snows.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Sir Patrick Moore.

Computer Music

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

Two men discussing thier moustaches

"Mom?"

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

'I have to warn you that hills may go up as well as down.'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

The Violin Artist

"I could have saved you the climb, Perkins. It is lonely at the top."

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

How to wear a false moustache.

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'