Muscle Maestro Gifts

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

'Can't you forget you're a weightlifter.'

A bulge of bodybuilders

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"Textin’"

Burnt or Raw?

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Twitter censorship

Violin Practise

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

Important Muscles.

Computer Music

A dancing man wearing a red-striped top

A butcher and his apprentice.

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

Musical Bicycle.

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

Lawrence of Suburbia

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Surgical intervention on Emoticons

Musical Prodigy

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'