Martial Maestro Gifts

"Dang! This guy's good!"

'Remember me?'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

Important Muscles.

"Home school marching band"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

Computer Music

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

'Oh, hi Tom... I'm just putting some personal touch to my office.'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

The original sundial.

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

Employees need to be treated like adults...

'Treat me easy this morning.'

Cat Kung Fu

"It's funny. . . I know it's the renaissance, but I keep writing dark ages on my checks!"

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

A Blanksy

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

The Violin Artist

"You still working on your car?"

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'Are you worried about layoffs?'

"Hey dude, when I said 'curls might help', that's not what I meant."

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."