Moral Maestro Gifts

Hell's Ethics

Closed due to pangs of conscience

"No, I get it. You wanna pay me to have a little 'chat' with a dad whose kid beat up your kid. I'm just not sure it's ethical."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Traffic Management Strategic Group

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Project Manager Showdown

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

Computer Music

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"This isn't a bad time to be out of touch with reality."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"I'm worried that I'm the only one who constantly gets anxiety attacks..."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

A writer types onto a long sheet of paper.

The original sundial.

'Treat me easy this morning.'

Employees need to be treated like adults...