Morale Master Gifts

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Try thinking about something else."

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

Carrot VS Stick

Nun Binning the Devil

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Thinking and thinking backwards.

"Rather than complain about the lack of resources you have to work with, why not be happy with being empowered to use your resourcefullness?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

"You can do it!"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

"Hi, I designed this Sim Game and I'm checking on staff morale."

We need bold action to raise morale, yet not make people think there's a problem.

'I'm sorry, but 'irrational exuberance' is now officially considered a mood disorder.'

"Is something bothering you?"

Human mood

'Why do I have to go first?' 'There's no I in team, Dave.'

"That guy is incredible! He's coaxed the fish to invest 20,000 bucks...in catfood stocks!"

Career coaching at a yoga studio

'I'm starting to think this will be a year without any raises.'

'She vacillates between PBS and PMS.'

"Quit whimpering."