Morale Master Gifts

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Try thinking about something else."

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

Carrot VS Stick

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Nun Binning the Devil

Thinking and thinking backwards.

"Rather than complain about the lack of resources you have to work with, why not be happy with being empowered to use your resourcefullness?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'Why am I such a grouch?'

"You can do it!"

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

"My parent's think I'm apathetic, but I don't care."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

Clerical Training Course - 'Gentlemen, we are here to practise what we preach.'

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

"Hi, I designed this Sim Game and I'm checking on staff morale."

We need bold action to raise morale, yet not make people think there's a problem.

Human mood

Say It Ain't So, Ho

'I'm sorry, but 'irrational exuberance' is now officially considered a mood disorder.'

"Is something bothering you?"

'Why do I have to go first?' 'There's no I in team, Dave.'

"That guy is incredible! He's coaxed the fish to invest 20,000 bucks...in catfood stocks!"

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

Career coaching at a yoga studio

'I'm starting to think this will be a year without any raises.'

"Quit whimpering."