Morale Officer Gifts

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"And this is where we all gave up."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'Remember that promotion you were asking for last month, , ,Well, something just opened up,'

Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

"Did I say 'corner office'? I meant 'corner of my office'."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'