Team Morale Specialist Gifts

'Just don't fire Chapman there. He's good for my moral.'

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"Best project manager we ever had."

'Before we begin, everyone turn to the person next to you and give them a hug.'

Pushy Dog

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"And this is where we all gave up."

Business Meeting

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

'We like the teamwork idea, but Billy won't let us play with his ball.'

'The project isn't that important, so put some of your worst people on it.'

Office Politics

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

Project Manager Showdown

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."