Employee Morale Gifts

'Morale soared when we installed the Nurf Basketball.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Staff support"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'Before we begin, everyone turn to the person next to you and give them a hug.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I've divided my workday into nine manageable segment that are each followed by a brief period of pessimism and regret."

Not much money, glory, or praise

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"And this is where we all gave up."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Office Ergonomics.

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"I have a very demanding job. The boss is always demanding I work late."