Team Mentor Gifts

'Part of his demands are that we rename the club Real Mourinho.'

Santiago Hernán Solari Poggio

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Reach for the Star.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Women Supporting Women!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

"I hate performance review season."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

Teamwork!

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."