Team Coach Gifts

Teamwork

'I can't sell you fake blood or ketchup for the next three years,'

Teamwork

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"You're still in here? Go home. We lost."

'Remember, don't flatten the players wearing the same shirts as you...'

Sensing the wildebeest was finally subdued, the alpha female signals to empty the bench.

Home wins/Road wins

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Good game."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Staff support"

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."