Motivational Maestro Gifts

We need bold action to raise morale, yet not make people think there's a problem.

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."