Moral Maestro Pillows

Hell's Ethics

Closed due to pangs of conscience

"No, I get it. You wanna pay me to have a little 'chat' with a dad whose kid beat up your kid. I'm just not sure it's ethical."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Traffic Management Strategic Group

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Project Manager Showdown

Computer Music

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"This isn't a bad time to be out of touch with reality."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"I'm worried that I'm the only one who constantly gets anxiety attacks..."

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

The original sundial.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'Treat me easy this morning.'

'Was that a spiritual insight, or just clumsiness?'

A writer types onto a long sheet of paper.

Employees need to be treated like adults...

We need bold action to raise morale, yet not make people think there's a problem.