Medal Maestro Gifts

"This one is for selling video game rights for my life story."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

The Gong

Cat Olympics

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

The weight of winning gold.

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

"You still working on your car?"

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

The Violin Artist

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"Dang! This guy's good!"

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"

A bulge of bodybuilders

Eye Doctors. Sport Psychologists. Reception. Which focus group are you here for today?

'The rust problem turned out to be more extensive than we expected.'

Male Voice Choir: Tenor, Baritone and Bass

'Your car has failed it's MOT.' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - 'I'm going to replace your lambda control.' - 'I don't even know what that is...' - 'It's expensive. That's all you need to know. My little blue victim.' - 'Gah.'

Tarot Lying

"How long have you been delusional?"

Fortune Teller using a satellite to help pick up clairvoyant signals.

'Got a quarter?'

'I can't do next Friday'

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

Scrapbooking in the 22nd Century.

A blacksmith shaping a horse shoe on an anvil.

"Noise? Noise?!! That was Bullet for my Valentine!"