Motorcycling Gifts

"The Vesparados"

"I'm sorry, but shouldn't there be an apostrophe in that?"

Old biker with a zimmer frame.

'Soiling your pants every time you ride your bike fast isn't a medical condition. It's probably a mixture of fear and excitement.'

'They give you that 'I'm tough but thoughtful' look'

'What do you mean you were having so much fun riding with your buddies you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'

'Now entering State of Anxiety' 'Uneasy Rider'

'My wife bought me this helmet when I told her I was buying a bike. She's a little over protective.'

'My new security system vaporizes anyone who gets too close to my bike. I'm going to miss Jim.'

"You know, you make one helluva bowl of chili!"

Monkey doing stunts on a big red motorbike.

If You Can Read This - The Wife's Fallen Off.

'You asked me what those chicks in those biker magazines have that you don't...well, I made a list. Number one...'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"We said 'no' but then he started a crowd-funding campaign and bought it himself."

'This is Jim's second speech on motorcycle safety. If you haven't already guessed, I missed his first speech.'

Chauffeur Driven Side Car.

'Next time try not to venture off the road. The brush gets a little thick in there.'

'If I look a little pale, it's because I just sold enough blood to buy new tires for my bike.'

'And for our middle-aged customers, we've developed this orthopaedic backrest.'

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

Rider's Block: Well I'll be. I've completely forgotten how to start this thing.

When it's time to go: 'Gentleman, we're talking 'one serious design fault' here.'

'Why do I get the feeling my divorce is final?' (Motorbike has been cut in half).

Motorcyclist.

Warning: Warp in the space-time continuum ahead.

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

Surgeon requests patient's motorbike if operation is unsucessful.

'No buddy, I didn't stop you because you were going too fast.'

'Tony's afraid to leave his new bike in the parking lot, so he carries it with him wherever he goes.'

'Does your best friend have to come EVERYWHERE with us?'

White Helmets 2

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

Just Married.

"I hear your fix choppers."