Motorcycle Technician Gifts

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Early cyborg.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

High speed cinder block

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Battery Lighthouse

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Organic Soldering.

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

Fixing the TV.