Motorcycle Technician Gifts

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Early cyborg.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

Battery Lighthouse

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

Organic Soldering.

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.