Motor Show Organizer Gifts

'That'll be when they wash their cars!'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"What old school? This is my life."

Face painting by numbers.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Trade Show Sherpas

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Extra Long-jump

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

Prize vegetables with rude names.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"Fritz, you dropped the ball again, this year! You realize what this means...."

Gay pride parade, St. Patricks Day float that 'Started it All - Irish Village People'

For Sale: Red Arrow

"When I said tart up the presentation, I meant the slides..."

Tombola Winner

At the signing of William C.Lockland's latest best selling wheelbarrow.