Auto Show Organizer Gifts

"Hey, relax! All I said was, 'You're a sexy car, but you could stand to dress a little sexier!"

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"What old school? This is my life."

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Man, times have changed.'

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Trade Show Sherpas

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Occupational Hazards.

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Extra Long-jump

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"Fritz, you dropped the ball again, this year! You realize what this means...."

Gay pride parade, St. Patricks Day float that 'Started it All - Irish Village People'