Motor Show Organizer Mugs

'That'll be when they wash their cars!'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"What old school? This is my life."

Face painting by numbers.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Trade Show Sherpas

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Extra Long-jump

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

Tombola Winner

For Sale: Red Arrow

"When I said tart up the presentation, I meant the slides..."

At the signing of William C.Lockland's latest best selling wheelbarrow.