Motivational Dieter Gifts

'The idea is to make food itself my motive to shape up.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Overloaded on Junk Food.

Woman and sport trainer

Fat Britain

'Lose weight or you're through as a western star!'

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

I lost 10 pounds during that last thaw...but it was all water weight.

"I'd like to lose 35%of me!"

One week after new year. The rest of the year.

"Wow, all the way from the couch. Have the endorphins kicked in?"

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

Warranty Void

"Sorry, I only weigh one person at a time."

'I'm starting my exercise program slowly...I'm pulling on the refrigerator door 30 times a day now.'

Get up and in shape!

"Don't forget to deduct 2 pounds for my clothes and 5.5 ounces for my phone."

'Elsewhere in the news, obesity and inactivity are sending baby boomers on a downward spiral!'

'It looks like your computer may block cookies, but you don't.'

"Get Back in!"

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

Diet.

"Dieting all morning, and for what?!"

"No . . . erasing food-search-apps from your browser history doesn't count as dieting."

Fantasy Diet League

'I've struggle with weight problems since birth. I was a 'Jumbo' egg.'