Motherhood Maestra Gifts

'I didn't hear about any oil spill on the news!'

'Are there instructions for these pregnancy pillows? 'Cuz I think something went really wrong.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Chez Nous Menu

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"He's such a fussy eater."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Mother Nature

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

I love my family!

Fitness Programme for babies

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Men explained.

Downloading Pregnancy

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"