Motherhood Maestra Pillows

'I didn't hear about any oil spill on the news!'

'Are there instructions for these pregnancy pillows? 'Cuz I think something went really wrong.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

Chez Nous Menu

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"He's such a fussy eater."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Downloading Pregnancy

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Fitness Programme for babies

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

I love my family!

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Men explained.

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."