Mortuary Enthusiast Gifts

Fester & Sons Funeral Home: 'Ashes to ashes.'

"You measured him! Does it shut?"

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

Veterans Day '20

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

War HeroWar Exit Strategy Hero.

'I'm the one who sold King Tut his tomb. The commission was huge.'

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

Daniel Chester French

Last Canadian WW1 veteran has passed: Lest we forget.

The general loved animals.

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

'You're sure that's one of the stages of grief?'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

The four hearsemen with the Alpaca lips.

Thomas Becket

Gravedigger

'- and how does the graveyard shift appeal to you?'

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

'Tomb of the unkown Scottish goalie.'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

'First, let me emphasize that the open casket was his idea.'

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

Undertakers Pole

"Welcome to Arlington National Cemetery. Pardon our appearance... We're expanding."

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'