Mortgage Renewal Gifts

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Wedding selfie stick

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

Old Love

I have a dream.

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

'First the good news - you won't have to pay mortgage insurance anymore.'