Mortgage Renewal Gifts

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Wedding selfie stick

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

I have a dream.

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

Old Love

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

For our 25th anniversary, I think we should renew our vow not to kill each other.