Life Insurance Renewal Gifts

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

'Wait. . . wouldn't the Golden Harp be covered under the giant's homeowner's insurance?'

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

Medicaid Expansion: "Better not take the risk, you never know when the well's going to run dry..."

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

For our 25th anniversary, I think we should renew our vow not to kill each other.

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

"Robyn Dixon got remarried!!!"

'Try not to smile, sir. Imagine you're looking for a parking space.'

"Thank God we're insured"

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

'We're going to need a specialist. To help fill in the insurance form.'

'The bad news is, during open enrollment we get to choose between our uncaring, inconvenient plan or another one that's just as bad or worse.'

'If you wish to retain my rock star client's talents you're going to need to pay a rock star price.'

"As long as we're renewing our vows, I'd like to trade him in for a newer model."

Yes, we do sell house insurance and life insurance, but I don't think you need both.

"I, Matthew, promise to go along to get along."

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

"Yes, it is a very large bill. Unfortunately, the doctor who gave you a second opinion charges ten times what I do."

'Our insurance company doesn't cover saucer theft if it's left unlocked, so lock it even through this seems like a safe neighborhood.'

"Good news, Turner, We've chewed you up but have decided not to spit you out."