Contract Renewal Gifts

'If you wish to retain my rock star client's talents you're going to need to pay a rock star price.'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

Wedding selfie stick

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

Old Love

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."