Mortgage Musers Gifts

Life plan

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

The Evolution Of Man.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Foreclosed horse

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

"When I move out of this whale, I'd like to sublet my space. That's why I had all my stuff shipped here."

Foreclosure

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

Freddie Mac hearts Fannie Mae.

'I will now make these excellent mortgage deals disappear!'

"To assume Leonard has a bucket list, you have to first assume he actually wants to do anything."

"I hope my next husband looks better in a tux than you do."

'I wish my marriage was 'catch and release'!'

'If I understand it right, we hold the mortgage on the bank which holds the mortgage on our house.'

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."

Foreclosure.

'Let's see, no current job, no job history, dicey credit report, congratulations Ed, you're approved!'

'Okay, wipe that 30-year fixed scowl off your face, and give us your short-term adjustable grin!'

'Our mortgage is now owned by a guy named Lenny the Squid in bayonne, N.J.'

'Name? No questions asked.'

Not expected to be easily approved for a mortgage.

'I think we should make an offer on this house, what do you think?'