Mortgage Mirth Enthusiasts Gifts

You want the money for a house? Boring! Come back when you need it for something cool, like a speedboat.'

The transparent safe box of Panama

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

Life plan

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

the company is cutting back our team's training budget.'

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

"When I move out of this whale, I'd like to sublet my space. That's why I had all my stuff shipped here."

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

Freddie Mac hearts Fannie Mae.

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

Foreclosure.

'We can pay you, or we can give you healthcare coverage, but we can't do both.'

"Bloody building society keeps hassling us about the mortgage payment."

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."

'Let's see, no current job, no job history, dicey credit report, congratulations Ed, you're approved!'

'Okay, wipe that 30-year fixed scowl off your face, and give us your short-term adjustable grin!'

Dunloanin...bank manager.

'Our mortgage is now owned by a guy named Lenny the Squid in bayonne, N.J.'

'Name? No questions asked.'

Not expected to be easily approved for a mortgage.

"So what happens if we can't meet our monthly mortgage repayments?"

'Our certificate of Deposit Interest rates may seem low, but I assure you, they are better than anything you can get by leaving your savings under the mattress.'

Since we'll be paying this mortgage forever, it's only fitting we use a Forever stamp.

Today's Sermon: "Keeping the faith in a stock market correction."

"Well, a million dollars isn't worth much these days ... unless you can get rid of the Internal Revenue Service!"

'Oh no! Not another customer looking for a mortgage...'

I don't have a mortgage, but I have a variable rate-rate income.