Mortgage Magic Gifts

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Time Is Money

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Investing your savings

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Everything's gone up."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'Wait a minute....!

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Snowing Money.

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

"This is Pete, our cryptocurrency expert."

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

'Quick...follow that rainbow.'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

The Speculators

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'Stocks rose on news that 'green' - the color of money - is considered environmentally friendly.'

Breaking Through