Mortgage Magician Gifts

'Ready?!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'Well I think everything is in order. Congratulations on your new home!'

"For financial reasons we're selling this brick and mortar home and becoming an online family."

'Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!'

First Time Liars.

'...And then, my balloon mortgage popped!'

'If you feed that thing, it'll NEVER go away!'

"I know I don't have a credit history. I had my name legally changed after that mortgage fiasco."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Time Is Money

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Investing your savings

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Everything's gone up."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Falling stocks appear to be rising when man stands on his head.

'Wait a minute....!

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."