Mortgage Mystic Gifts

Foreclosure.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

The church of our lady of wall street.

'Ready?!'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'How high can the adjustable interest rate go? Well, now, we don't want to get bogged down in a lot of technicalities, do we?'

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

Madame Zola - Bitcoin futures

"I once had a firm foothold in reality, but I found that it seriously undermined my ability to function as a financial market analyst."

"It's not a map of our new oil drilling sites--it's our stock price."

'How about a reverse-reverse mortgage? In a reverse-reverse mortgage, no one pays anyone anything, and no one seems to care.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

"For financial reasons we're selling this brick and mortar home and becoming an online family."

"Before I begin my summation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury... have you considered the benefits of a reverse mortgage."

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

'We're expecting stocks to rally but we don't know which ones and when.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

'Your shares are doing well... No wait, they're falling, no they're rising, no falling and rising...'

"Good morning Mr. Perkiss - I'm from your local bank. I've come to take our house back..."

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'