Mortality Themes Gifts

"They're very time-sensitive."

'His pace maker's lasting longer than he did.'

Mourners in the Graveyard.

Chiller Theatre

"It's true: no more burpees."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

Apocalliptical

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"What if you go under before I need to?"

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

Grim Reaper Checkout

After hours TV.

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'I was just wondering how much longer I'll be working in the bowels?'

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

Old man watering Death.

'You'd look good in that.'

"Give a call when you get there."

"Back in 15 min."

Heaven Has VIP

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

Good boy! Now roll over and play alive.

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

"You're gonna love this place."

The End Of The Week Is Coming!

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

"...and tell him it's fairly urgent."

Death selfie

"And, if you don't have an attorney, we have millions of them."

'The Grim Reaper's my brother. I'm death without dignity.'

"We're having trouble getting a venue for our December 31st conference, all the staff are asking way too much money"

Ignitas

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.