Mortality Humor Gifts

Christmas Sale Special

End the Winter Blues

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"They're very time-sensitive."

Game time.

Apocalliptical

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

Dead Man's Handel

First attempt at the Big Bang

"What if you go under before I need to?"

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

Grim Reaper Checkout

"Snake eyes again!"

"Back in 15 min."

'No! No! No! I don't want to die. . . Then why are you carrying that enormous scythe?'

'You'd look good in that.'

"Give a call when you get there."

"Well, I have bad news for you, too."

Old man watering Death.

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

"You're gonna love this place."

Death selfie

"...and tell him it's fairly urgent."

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

'The Grim Reaper's my brother. I'm death without dignity.'

IRS. They are both inevitable but at least the IRS grants extensions.

"Kick me"

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

"Wake up dear - you've got a visitor..."

"Crap."

"One last request: move my car to the 11:30 A.M. to 1 P.M. Monday -Thursday side of the street for tomorrow."