Death Humorist Gifts

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

"Did you say these things come in cycles?"

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.

Zombie standup

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

End the Winter Blues

Tim Burton

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"Death coach..."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You run into a window, too?"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

The game comes first...

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"It's obviously an original."

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

Special Place in Hell...

"I'll have whatever they're having."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

"Perfect! By the way, I'm a huge fan of your movies!"

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"Now that you've been given the vaccine, let us know if you start craving raw meat."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

Priest gives the last rites to an expired metre.