Reflection On Mortality Gifts

"Alice, do you have any singles? He wants a tip!"

Gangster doesn't have proper password for Heaven.

"Why bother?"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"They're very time-sensitive."

Apocalliptical

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

Tom's last day.

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

Closed Thursdays.

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"Give a call when you get there."

'You'd look good in that.'

"Who did you think has been drawing you all this time?"

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

Saguaro Cacti.

Grim Reaper Checkout

"Back in 15 min."

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

Death selfie

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

'The Grim Reaper's my brother. I'm death without dignity.'

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

"It was an incredible journey, but a crappy life."

"You could say he died rich. He had 10,000 friends on Facebook."

A man confronts his lost youth.

"Wake up dear - you've got a visitor..."

"Sorry, sir, but you can't collect on your life insurance policy when you don't have a life."