Reflection On Mortality Pillows

"Alice, do you have any singles? He wants a tip!"

Gangster doesn't have proper password for Heaven.

"Why bother?"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"They're very time-sensitive."

Apocalliptical

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

Tom's last day.

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"What if you go under before I need to?"

Closed Thursdays.

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Grim Reaper Checkout

"Back in 15 min."

'You'd look good in that.'

"Give a call when you get there."

Saguaro Cacti.

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

Death selfie

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

"It was an incredible journey, but a crappy life."

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

"Wake up dear - you've got a visitor..."

A man confronts his lost youth.

"Sorry, sir, but you can't collect on your life insurance policy when you don't have a life."

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

Still life.