Dealing With Mortality Pillows

"Why bother?"

YOLO vs YODO

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'You'd look good in that.'

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"Back in 15 min."

"Give a call when you get there."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin

Terror on Coronavirus Cruises

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

Reaction News: All the news you thought you heard.

'The Grim Reaper's my brother. I'm death without dignity.'

"She looks so natural, although I prefer cremation."

"THe vice president here is now in charge of the efforts to control the coronavirus. . "

"Would you like to save 10 percent today by opening a Palmer Funeral Home account?"

"Sorry, sir, but you can't collect on your life insurance policy when you don't have a life."

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

HOw the Cat WOund Up With Nine Lives.

'I've been having one long, continuous bad hair day for the past 25 years.'

"He's on life support. Mostly support."

'It's worse than we first thought. She even stopped lying about her age.'

"I'm glad we had that little chat on euthanasia last night, Grandma."

"Alice, do you have any singles? He wants a tip!"

J. W. Hansen & Co. Funeral Directors-Mortuary

Grim Reaper helpfully offers a smoker a light.