Death Awareness Advocate Pillows

YOLO vs YODO

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

The last Passenger Pigeon

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Bubbling

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Sewer Rats

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"Species loss has hit him hard."

Another possibility to why manatees are endangered.

Opium Den 2019

"My Alzheimers doctor. What can I do?"

"Here's a slide I took earlier this morning of the Cataporous Spotted Bug, which is now unfortunately extinct."

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'No thanks, I recently gave them up.'

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

'The bad news is that it's definitely Cancer. The good news is that I hear it's 'in'.'

Prostate Issues

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.