Facing Mortality Pillows

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Hang on, last page."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"Why bother?"

YOLO vs YODO

"It's a complicated time for needle phobics."

"They're very time-sensitive."

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

"Give a call when you get there."

'You'd look good in that.'

"Back in 15 min."

Tombstone in a cemetery with a epitaph that reads "Why me?"

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

Life and Death.

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

"Why would He take someone so toned?"

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

'The Grim Reaper's my brother. I'm death without dignity.'

"Sorry, sir, but you can't collect on your life insurance policy when you don't have a life."

An old man sees a grave with a 'Your Name Here' inscription.

'Just checking that you're my 5:25.'

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

'I've got a fear of needles'

"Alice, do you have any singles? He wants a tip!"

Grim Reaper helpfully offers a smoker a light.

"I'm glad we had that little chat on euthanasia last night, Grandma."

A man reads the obituary and compares his age to the deceased.

Tunnel of Life

'No need to panic, there's plenty of time.'

'Two weeks to live? That can't be right -- I have 500 free hours from AOL!'

'I have only a few days to live: Can you teach me how to make the most of them?'

J. B. Farley - Made a bundle in the market. Died Anyway.