Facing Terminal Illness Pillows

'I have only a few days to live: Can you teach me how to make the most of them?'

"Why bother?"

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Euthanasia Clinic

Tom's last day.

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"First day out of bed?"

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

The Sunrise of Vaccines

'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

'I'll let my colleague explain.'

"I'd like to make a list. What do we kick when we die?"

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

Stay apart & stay happy

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

"The test results were inconclusive, we should know more after the autopsy."

"Don't you think it's time to admit to yourself that this rash will not clear up on it's own."

Life and Death.