Morning Paper Enthusiast Gifts

'Good night was it last night,n dear?'

Newspaper

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

1,572 Performances.

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Household water use'

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Good Morning Britain

"I'm more of a day owl."

H L Mencken.

Sunday.

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

'My advice; forget the elephant in the room - focus on the Quad Demy.'

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

"Honey, could you pass me the cow."

"Good coffee."

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

"Dang it."

"Can't you forget about the FT for once?"

'How long has what been going on?'

'Look. I fetch it - I get to read it first.'

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"