Morning Paper Lovers Gifts

'Well, you complained that you wanted the newspaper porched.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

Bird Tweet.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

Alarmistclock

"This is their 'Working Mother of Four' coffee special. They must know what I go through."

"It's time to wake up!"

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

"Are those my slippers?!"

Early Morning Roll Call.

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

Rooster

Sunday.

H L Mencken.

"That's not the morning paper, Storm. That's a subpoena."

"I have to get up for school early and my alarm clock is broken."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

Room service.

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

Mans breakfast makes a 'Snap, crackle, pop' sound. He hears his dog's food making a 'Woof, growl, yelp' sound.

I realize I'm scarier in the middle of the night, but I was always such a morning person.

'Don't worry, have a nice holiday, I'll cover for you: Once cockadoodledoo at sunrise, any idiot can do that!'

Just Because it's Tuesday

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."