Morning Laugh Seekers Gifts

The Mid Morning Bird

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Bald Man Overcomb

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Football heads...

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Ask Sadie

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Well, that was a total waste of time!

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'