Morning Jester Gifts

'This is room 35a. About that early morning wake up I asked for!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

"You owe me five bucks."

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Drunk Barber

"I hate open-mike night."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'Any questions?'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

"Very good Carter, but when you said you wanted to show us your Powerpoint we assumed you meant presentation!"

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

"I slept funny!"

'Company rules, 1.The boss is always right. 2. If the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.'

Sometimes the 'Staggers-in-at-4 AM Bird' beats the Early Bird to the worm.

Homeless man's sign: 'Sperm donor to the crowned heads of Europe.'

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

'Ahhhh. Did I just feel the tension in here break, or was it the elastic on my underwear?'

That brings up a good point. None of us here knows what we're doing

'It has been brought to my attention that some of us are not working at maximum efficiency.'

Bowled out.

'Gentlemen,this report is simply not erotic enough for me to bother reading it.'

Dead & Breakfast.

"To keep them awake during my meetings, I now require them to drink 20 cups of coffee. I must be really boring, because they're still struggling to stay awake."

'Then Mr. Belmond's double-dog-dare was seconded with Mr. Simms triple-dog-dare...'