Modern Life Jester Gifts

"The torture game is certainly a lot easier these days."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'Any questions?'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

'All those in favour of my new proposal say aye. Those against, also say aye.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

Show Jumping Tantrums

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."