Morning Banter Lover Gifts

the Morning Joe team.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

'Household water use'

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

The Gilmore Girls

"Aaah, early morning, my favourite part of the day..."

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

'Here comes Ted.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Dang it."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

How do you take your eggs? Like I take my relationships with women: over. Breakfast Menu.

"Looks like it's going to be a nice day."

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Thank you for your unsolicited parenting advice! In return, I'd like to tell you about a method I know for removing those unsightly age spots.'