Morgue Attendant Gifts

"I've got a knocking coming from drawer 34. What's the procedure?"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Joint Ventures!

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"

A Late Bloomer.

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'Even if I did know what SEO was - what's wrong with washing cars for a bit of extra pocket money.'

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

'Grave rage Vicar, we get a lot of it now.'

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.

"Mum, can I work in a morgue"

"Time to knock off for lunch?"

'Our dog needs a bath too.'

Gravedigger

'Why do you keep watering it, Dad? - It's not going to grow larger!'

Tomb of the Unknown Sculptor.

"It was 2am and time for another unauthorized tanning session for the boys on the crematorium's night shift."

'Well,it's been real nice chatting with you Ron,and should you ever fancy a guided tour throughout the City Morgue,here's my card...' (a morgue worker handing over a 'toe tag').

'I just come here to brag about my good health.'

Ignitas

'Yep, his face is beyond recognition but that's my Charlie for certain.'

Doorman with Angel Wings

Coroner spraying deodorant on dead body.

'Behind the scenes at a crematorium.'

'Someday, someone else will mow this lawn.'

"It's a crying shame, his wife went to visit her mother in Australia and forgot to leave directions to the kitchen"

'Damn it Monroe! I told you to finish the stock taking!!'

Slush Plan.

'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'

'As a cemetery worker... I prefer working the 'graveyard' shift!'

"Now comes the downside to this job - I need the toilet!"